You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
True college students do jello shots in the library
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
