he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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