We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
