i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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