grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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