He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize