I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
