if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
These tits shall not be calmed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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