this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I fill condoms, not promises.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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