At least make sure they are 18
Why
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
