just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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