she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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