just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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