I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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