I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
