So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
