I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize