look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
