so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think a kid would responsible me up
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
