Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
