she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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