What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize