Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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