Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
