She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize