Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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