The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
