i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
