ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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