is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
jump out the window naked night went bad
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
