Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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