Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
