i just wanna soil my oats bro
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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