the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
