why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize