the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How's work?
Spinning.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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