There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
