By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
