No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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