I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
