I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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