Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
