good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
