The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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