is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
How's work?
Spinning.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
