why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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