If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
