I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
