her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize