she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
