Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
