think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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