Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
