Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
