Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
