Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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