Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
