So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
