I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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