O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
