just tell him i said nine months
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
