i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize